Even when we are at our worst, God is faithful and ever mindful of our thoughts and actions. On this particular day, I was truly at my worst but God was still able to use my bad attitude to bless another.
We were on vacation in Florida back in 2003. My parents had a house in Englewood and we were staying there for a couple of days. This particular day we decided that we were going to go for a drive. We passed by a mall in Port Charlotte and my husband said that he was going to buy me some dresses while we were here in Florida. So we trekked into this mall. It was a very nice. We proceeded to go from store to store. I really did not see any dresses that I liked. Everything seemed to be low cut. Not just low cut but like dresses that had necklines down to the belly button. I was getting really frustrated, I just wanted to give up and leave. Here my husband had promised to buy me a dress and these were too embarrassing to wear. My husband was taunting me, saying that I was not trying hard enough and he just kept saying things that were rubbing me the wrong way and I was not about to buy any of those dresses that I was seeing. I was getting angry. We walked to just about every store and finally I saw, Dillards. I turned to my husband and I said that I was going to go into Dillard's and I was going to find some dresses and he was going to buy all of them for me. I was just fuming and I was just saying it for spite because he had not let up.
We entered into Dillard's, me and my very bad attitude and at first I found Petites. That was not going to work. Next, I found the Plus sizes, that was not going to work, either. My husband was saying things like, you are not finding anything in here either? We found the Misses dress department. I started hounding the racks. The sales lady was very nice and she helped me find several dresses.
All of a sudden, there was just a mob of women in this dress department. Everyone was looking at dresses, the fitting rooms were full. It was like everyone decided at that very moment they wanted dresses. You just know something must be happening, but no they were not having a sale at Dillard's. This sales lady was trying to help all the women and she looked like she was just going around in circles. I told her just to help the others, I was fine. She was supposed to only allow three outfits in the fitting room at one time and here I must have had at least 12. She was helping all these people and still running back to the fitting room to help me even though I told her she did not have to. Some of these customers were very rude and I think maybe she sold 2 items to that entire mob. I was trying on dress after dress and coming out of the fitting room to show my husband the dresses, and she was helping me make decisions, also, while this mob was demanding her attention.
When I had finished trying on all the dresses and suit dresses that I could find, I separated them into piles. She came back to the fitting room and she looked just exhausted. She had been running here and there waiting on people and I believe she was waiting on each of them with as much attention as a person could and she did it all just as pleasantly as you could imagine. She started gathering up what I had put back onto hangers and I told her what items I had decided against. By this time, the mob was gone, seemingly just as fast as they appeared. I discussed the outfits with my husband and we decided that I would be getting two of the dresses, four of the dress suits and two camisoles. We took them up to the counter and she proceeded to hang them up on the pole behind the register and I stood there waiting to be rung up. Here she thought I had decided against everything and was going to put them back on the racks.. She thought I was not interested in any of them at all. I had to go back to the pole and take the items and one by one and tell her that I wanted them as they were all mixed in with other items the mob had decided against. She rung up the items one at a time. She covered each one with plastic Dillard's dress bags. The one suit, she said, she would not sell to me because it was damaged, so she had another one ordered and shipped to my home. The transaction was completed and she came around the register and gave me a big hug.
I was not sure what to think, I never had a clerk give me a hug for buying something. She said, that when she saw me looking at dresses, she hoped that I would buy at least one and she saw the crowd of people that were there at the same time and then she thought, maybe it would be possible. I did not quite follow her and she could see the look of confusion on my face. She said that she had been sick for two weeks and the management said that unless she could fulfill her monthly quota that day, they would be letting her go. She literally needed to sell $700 worth of items. She had been praying that God would send someone to buy that much and she did not think it would be me but she figured that each sale mattered. She even went against company policy by letting me try on as many dresses as I wanted at one time, and then when she saw the crowd she said she had hope. If each person had bought an item, there was a chance that she could save her job. But they had left and only bought about $30 in items. She thought for sure that she was going to be fired. She had lost hope. She was gathering up what I had and was going to put it back on the rack and when I said that I was going to purchase all those items, she said she didn't dare believe but the transaction went through and she realized it was real. She said that God had sent me to her because she had prayed so hard.
Well, I can tell you, I felt just about 2 inches tall. Here I was, mad at my husband for harassing me about buying a dress, and here I picked out these dresses and suit dresses, not so much because I liked them but for spite. (Even though I really liked them.) I really felt embarrassed for my attitude, here was this lady so grateful that I bought the dresses and hugging me and sharing her story and I was so low and wretched. I was too embarrassed to tell her that my heart had been in the wrong place. I had a lot to think about. Had I not been spiteful towards my husband, this lady would have probably lost her job. However, God knew that I would be in town, God knew that if provoked I would retaliate by buying more than one dress, and God knew that I would not buy the other mall dresses because they did not appeal to me, and made sure that the nice lady would be selling the only modest dresses in the mall. God was not caught off guard, he had every circumstance covered. He knew that I would be humbled by the experience, also. I am not one to keep dresses for more than 3 years but in this instance I still have all these items that were bought that day. They remind me of a very special lady who had her prayers answered by my selfishness.
Did you know that God can use you even when you are at your worst? It is when we are at our worst that God is at his best. He can take your darkest hour and bless others. If you are at your most dire hour, God can send you someone with a bad motive or heart, will you have the heart of a servant as this sales lady? Even though in our mind, we think it would take an angel of mercy to get us through, God may send you a Christian who is having an off day such as me. He can use an attitude of yours that is not befitting a Christian to help you and to correct that attitude you may not have known to exist. Dear Lord God, more of you and less of me. When I am lowly and wretched in my thinking, use my weaknesses to bless others, and when I find my circumstances dire, please remind me of this story so that I will have the heart of a servant and patiently wait upon you. You are an ever present help in our time of need, Amen.
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